Lost and Confused ..........

It was nice a regular 3-day weekend and I used 2 of those days to meet an old co-worker and do a quick overnight in Atlanta. It was cool 1st class both ways, so it made it that much more enjoyable.

However, there is a large part of me that misses The O.C. Miss it so much I'm thinking on moving back when my lease is up in August of next year. Technically I am contractually obligated to work in PHX until my year anniversary in March, but I am still stuck with a lease til August of 2005. I like it here I really do, just I guess I don't have the things here I take for granted. My old friends yea I talk and see them all the time but still not the same. I think the tables might be different if I had a steady regular girlfriend, that might perhaps take the lonliness away and make me more focused on making a longer commitment here than August. The main reason holding me back, is I could never afford to live in the O.C. rent is 45% more than PHX and living paycheck to paycheck doesnt work either. Don't get me wrong everyone here in PHX at work has been awesome, I feel like part of the family. I guess in OC i was the big fish and I was totally confortable, in PHX I have some of that, but Im this little person trying to emerge to a big one and it isnt working.

I think that maybe if I bought furniture and decorate my apartment I could enjoy/appreciate living here more, not sure though if that is the quick cure or not. If I did move back to the OC i would have to get a roommate, that definately isn't an option to living and surviving there. Maybe having down time is bad for me, makes me think even more, sometimes good most of the time lately bad however. I dunno, just lost and confused right now.

I'm Back!

God its been forever since I was on here. Well a lot has happened, I turned 26! Not bad, I thought I was going to die, but I survived and had fun at the same time. I am on day #1 of my vacation so I am happy even more.

I am researching more and more into Thailand, since that is where I am going in late October. A long flight going from Portland to Tokyo, Japan which is 13 hours, then Tokyo to Bangkok another 11 hours, then spend the night in Bangkok and then flight to the resort town of Phukhet which is a 2 hour flight, and thats to get there, have to do the same thing to get home!

Anyways, with this Al Quada crap, and russian jets going down, and wierd crap me, the travel guru/junkie is kinda scared. Im flying large giant, high profile planes great moving targets to use. I figure I am going with four other co-workers so we can all go together, and there would be a big party at our funeral, cuz we wouldn't want people grieving about us, rather having a big old kegger partying and remembering what kick ass people we were, and what I great treat God has coming to him! Anyways missed ya, glad to be back on, I promise to be a more regular blogger. ;-)

And No I'm Not Addicted ........

No its just that when I come up with thoughts what better way than to type them on here.

So I look at the calendar o' fun and realize that it is now 23 days til the big 26, yikes! Excited I am, I am going to party like a rockstar, where, how and with who is a whole nother issue.

So I'm surfin the net and figure that my next trip is to Cape Cod/Hyannas in Massasschusetts. It looks like a cool place, literally and figuratively. Lighthouses, a quiet place, and somewhere different, so I think I'm going to take my buddy from work Jamie with me and him and I will go cruise beantown (boston) as well as drive down to cape cod. He is a turkey, I keep tellin him to get his passport and he keeps fartin around. So now we have to stay within the U.S.. He says he is going to fly to San Francisco to get it done, since that is the only place that you can get a passport on the same day. I was going through a whole grip of pictures today, still unpacking if you can imagine that 6 months after the fact. The Cabo pics, the Puerto Vallarta pics, the Australia pics, ahh all were good times. I would move to Australia if it was that easy, but being a day ahead and 12+ hours ahead, and 18 hour flight and like a billion continents away, kinda hard to pack up and move there, plus I have to get dual citizenship, which isn't easy either. So I'm thinking I need to get outta dodge here soon, I still have 3 days left to go before I need to go back to work. Jamie is in Oshkosh at the airshow which sucks cuz I wanted to go, but didn't have the motivation to go for some lame reason. I might fly up to Calgary or Toronto Canada. I like Toronto a lot, its Canadian you know! ;-) Toronto is a big city, crazy as a matter of fact. French speakers, english speakers, all that good stuff. Actually it is a good hockey town to watch a game when it is in season, nothing like seeing a leafs vs. cancuks game. Maybe I will just go to the airport and look at the departure board, and pick a city that looks interesting, I have done that before. I wonder what the hell is in El Paso, everyone wants to fly there.

I started to read a great book today called Whale Done. I talked about that book a while back when I took that management seminar, good points to apply not only to employees but to personal life as well. Then I see Shamu attack a trainer on the news today, ok putting the book down and away for a while until Sea World investigates what went wrong. I don't want an employee going postal on me now! ;-)

I ran 6 miles today in the heat too! I feel like I can run another 6. Scarry, one of my co-workers made fun of me the other day and said I'm growing a stomach. Didn't take it personally since she isn't the fittest one either, but healthy is important, so some gym work I did today, and I feel awesome!

Ahh Now I Remember Why I Moved To Phoenix ......

I mean yea a $8,000 a year raise, more responsibility, and closer to the base of the totem pole, but today reaffirmed why I moved here.

You haven't lived until you have been here during a summer moonsoon storm.  Sitting out on my balcony, low 90's, gentle to moderate breeze, and the smell and sight of rain.  The smell is awesome, it is nothing you can bottle up, gotta be here to experience it first hand.  I remember the last time I was on my balcony with the same feeling was 6 months ago in mid February when I first moved in scared and worried if I made the right decision to pack up and move away not knowing anyone.

Well yes I think I have made the right decision so far.  I am moving up, getting noticed, even scored in the top 5% of my workgroup with a very high rating for my yearly performance evaluation.  I met an awesome woman on top of that, so everything is on the up and up, at least for the time being.

It was nice, I blanked everything out and just stared out to the horizon and watched the summer storm pass by.  I have 3 more days off, first time i spent more than 2 consecutive days at home without leaving town or working an extra shift.  I love it, going to have to do it more often, and I might have someone here locally to motivate me to do just that!  Ahh Arizona I love it!

Quarterlife Crisis Who? .........

You know when you sit down and plan your future, and try to imagine, who god put on this earth for you to be destined with and to marry, and that you are totally compatable with and realize that this is the one?  Well I think I'm there!

She is great.  I have never felt so good about who I am, and as well not worry about my little quirks or signs of dorkyness, it is actually accepted and sometimes ragged on by her.  From her glowing smile, to overall concern, and what seems to me a loving and growing heart, I am totally stoaked that such a person exists.  From the simple note, to the unexpected how are ya phone call, this is a girl you can see as much more, and someone who you look at your watch to see how much longer you can leave work to spend time with and care for and charish.

It was tough for me to get out of bed at 4 am. Work yes, but the person I was next to, it was a feeling and moment I didn't want to let go of.  A sense of security, worth, and being was exuded from her, even though she was sound asleep and not making a peep.  To have her cuddle into me and for me to cuddle into her, and for her to wrap herself into me and hold my hand was more than words could describe.  I would trade in a million dollars to replicate that moment.  This is a girl you can take home to mom, and be so proud of that represents me and what I want in a woman.  She is someone that can only exude pride in being that she is as crazy about me as I am in her.  For a girl that hadn't even met ya once, and already is altering her plans to accomoidate your birthday, speaks kudos for #1 the type of person she is, and #2 how much she believes in me.  I know that regardless of the issue, right or wrong or difference of opinion, she will always respect me and believe in me, if I feel it in my heart, and that is rare to find in a mate.

All I can say is that going into this birthday, I know that it will not only be a blast but a memorable one being with the one I truly care about.  ;-)

Hmmmmm.....................

I dunno, can't title this entry since it is a bunch of stuff blabbled into one entry.
 
Life is going well, getting back from the O.C. yesterday.  Wierd to leave the mid 70's and arrive back to the mid 100's.  This new 3-day off schedule is wierd seems like I am always missing something. 
 
I get home to have 2 phone messages from work.  Reminds me of the movie office space.  Both started out saying, well yeah there is going to be a mandatory meeting today, and I will need you to call and let me know which one you will be attending.  I was like screw that!  It is my day off, I have saved their asses 3 weeks in a row now working all this overtime, and now they expect me to come in for a 3 hour meeting last minute?!  So we will see the crap I get from work today, probablly called in and yelled at, and probably get myself in deep water.  Oh well, it takes an act of congress to get fired from America West anyways, so I am not worried.
 
This girl becomes more and more interestng by the moment.  Not sure what to think.  Attractive, smart, brains, and intelligence, this is rare, almost an endangered species.  There is an ex out there, not sure of the whole contact thing, I know its there just not sure where she is in regards to him.  Taking it slow, which works, no need for a rush good things come to those who wait.  I am so happy pay day is a week from today.  I can save $$ finally and put it to good use.
 
Well to the shower I go to get clean, and off to work I go!
 
Mahalo!  Rock On Peeps!

Ms. Cleo Where Are You . . . . . . .

I wish I was as pyschic as Ms. Cleo. I mean yea good that she makes $5.99 a minute plus a $1.75 connect fee for each call, but wouldn't it be nice to be a mind reader and predict was is going to happen or not happen?

The girl finally wrote back, MIA due to being busy and swamped. Totally cool, I can accept that and move on. I on occassion am in the same boat, so I can relate. However throw me a bone at least take the 10 seconds to let me know that as its happening, not 3 days after the fact. Who knows, maybe my expectations are high and thats what the overall problem is. She is very cool, actually too cool as a matter of fact. Get along well, same thinking and same ways of acting. She is a go-getter and no goal is ever out of reach with her. I guess what knocks my socks off is that she is driven, she sees the goal, and busts butt to achieve it! But, at the same time I can't read her mind which sucks. Oh well, thats why I have friends who can interpret for me, and it gets me along through these confusing times.

Oh FYI - 1 month 5 days to go, til' im 26 and freakin out, the quarterlife crisis continues!

Ahh The O.C..........

It is always nice to jump on a plane and escape the balmy 110 degree weather in Phoenix, and head to the O.C. I mean yuppy and all yes, but still nice to escape to every once in a while. Kinda like a mini Hawaii which is only and hour flight away.

A month and 6 days away from my birthday. Kinda freakin out. Women are confusing, say one thing do another, can't read them. Ahhhhh what to do!?

Well im going to enjoy the 80 degree weather, relax, enjoy life and ponder on what to do next. At least I can go surf while I am here and possibly take the plane up for a spin or two.